Fringe Season 4: Walter makes me miss my own father

I logged into my blog this evening, while watching the third episode of season four of Fringe, to try to write an entry or two, only to find that I’d started an article on Fringe back in March. At the time I started this point, I wrote that I was three episodes to the end of season 3 in the television show, Fringe. I’ve finished season three and am in to season four now. I didn’t watch Fringe with it aired on television, but tried my best to catch up as season five was airing. I didn’t make it, but am still trying to work my way through the series.

I’ve been watching Fringe mostly when my husband goes out of town, and after my children fall asleep. Getting them to sleep takes a lot longer when my husband is out of town.  This means I end up watching one episode, then another, then another and end up paying for it by staying up well past midnight.

When I logged into my blog tonight, I was struck by the title I’d given this post.

Watching Fringe does make me think about my dad. It makes me think about him a lot.  He’s been gone for 18 years, and I still miss him as much as the day that he died. He never got to meet my kids. He wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle when I married my husband (although they did meet). He never got to do so many things.

Watching Fringe and watching the relationship unfold between Walter and Peter Bishop does make me miss my Dad. I am surprised I actually put that down in an entry.

My Dad was complicated. He had his demons. He had his weaknesses. But he also had great strengths. He was brilliant. He loved very deeply. He loved his kids. He could have been so much. He could have had a great life. I am RocketScienceMom because he always answered all of my questions about the stars, the universe and everything. I am RocketScienceMom because he shared with me his love of math and science, and I inherited his affinity for both. I only wish he were still around to see me actually become RocketScienceMom.

Sadly, he’s not here. I lost him far too soon. But the complicated relationship between Walter and Peter, and the brilliance of Walter remind me of my Dad.  His ability to cut to the heart of things, and sometimes say things that should have gone through some sort of mental filter, are very much like Walter.

I find that I am enjoying Fringe more than I thought I would, in spite of the fact that I don’t really have the stomach for all of the disgusting things or the monster of the week that they often show.

Here’s to an ending of season five that I hope is worthy of the  seasons that lead up to it.

And please don’t spoil me. I have done a great job of remaining spoiler free so far.