Are Older Mom’s Happier Moms?

In reading my twitter feed this morning, and article on parenting.com caught my eye. It had the title “Are Older Moms Happier Moms?“. Being an “older” mom myself (I waited until my late 30s to start my family) I have often given this some thought and have my own view of the whole happiness thing.

The basics of the article come from a recent happiness survey and study done of Mom’s and published in the March issue of Population and Development Review. The survey found that moms in their 20s were less happen than their friends without children. In addition, the more children these moms in their 20s had, the less happy they were. This this trend started to change for moms in their 30s and into their 40s. In fact, in their 40s, moms with more children were more happy as they added each subsequent child.

For me, this makes perfect sense. Thinking back to my 20s, I was not ready to have children and accept the work and responsibility that being a mother would mean. I wanted the freedom to work until late into the night if I was really getting far on something, or to pick up and travel whenever and wherever I wanted. I wanted to be able to hang out with friends, or watch tv, or kick back on the couch and read a book, when I wanted. Come to thin of it, that’s probably part of why I didn’t get married in my 20s either.

I can imagine that these women who started their families younger (in their 20s) might be tempted to look at their friends who aren’t married or don’t have children with a bit of envy. After all, being a parent is hard work. Some of the hardest, most thankless work you will ever do. To do it right, you have to concentrate less on your own needs and more on the needs of those little ones who depend on you for everything.

But women, like me, who went to school, worked, traveled, and did all of the things they wanted to do in their 20s, and who looked at their life and knew that now, in their mid to late 30s, they were ready to have kids, have an idea of what they are getting into and what they are giving up. There’s a lot to say about maturing over time, and I feel that I had that time to mature by spending my 20s living my life the way I wanted to.

In the end, what is happiness? For me, it’s a choice. Choose to be happy, or choose to dwell on what you don’t have or how what you have doesn’t meet some expectation. Just be happy with what you do have. Find the silver lining. Or, if the silver lining is missing, make one. Have the courage to change what needs to be changed, and leaves what’s working alone, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Something to think about.

Enjoy,
RSM

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About rocketsciencemom
I am a rocket scientist in my day job, and a mother of two all the time. I'm a pop culture addict and amateur artist in my spare time. My typical preferences tend toward sci-fi and fantasy genres but I love a good drama or comedy. Reading the blogs of fellow Lost fans over the years has motivated me to finally write my own. In addition to starting this blog, I have been writing for the parenting blog GNMParents under the name RocketScienceMom (or RSM for short). All drawings and images on this blog are property of RocketScienceMom

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